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Polkraine 2012 Group Stage Now Sans Wayne Rooney
Among the many things deemed illegal in football, playing the upper calf area rather than the ball is one. Wayne Rooney forgot this simple law against Montenegro last week, and now he’s been suspended...
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Where’s The Steroid-Injected Beef?
When questions of cheating and the Under 17 World Cup come ’round, usually it’s more “Why does Nigeria’s defensive mid using a cane?” rather than “Where’s the beef…for testing purposes?” Luckily, the...
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FIFA Announces World Cup 2014 Dates, Venues
In case you were planning on skipping off to the wonderful land of the World Cup in 2014 and were waiting on details to make some travel plans, FIFA’s gone ahead and set in motion a few of the...
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Chile Hosts The Break’s First Bender
There are – or were, in a few cases -certain possibilities when it comes to international and the misbehavior of its participants: Gabriel Tamas might get drunk, Adrian Mutu might hit someone, Zlatan...
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A Finger For An Eye
Tomorrow’s match between Portugal and Bosnia-Herzegovina is just going to be the best. Anyone care to keep a tally of the amount of distractions and projectiles tossed Cristiano’s way? [Spotted on...
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Your New World Champions: The DPRK
No one really takes the Unofficial Football World Championships seriously; it’s merely a nice bit of fun. But even with its inherent flaws – the best team ever (as in…ever) is Scotland – no one...
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Euro 2012 Lineup Done And Dusted
Nothin’ left but the friendlies. Playoffs have ended, sadly for some – tragically, really, since none of the aggregates were even close – and the lineup is set with a couple of surprises, like Ireland...
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Stampede, Tragedy At SEA
The Southeast Asian Games are more of a local flavor, unlikely to get any sort of global pub unless something big happens. Well, it happened, and under tragic circumstances, as fans unable to get...
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The Czech NT Partying Like It’s 2012
The Czech Republic national team might just be the bad boys of Europe, never seemingly far from the dark side of the press or contributing to a hooker’s rent. They’d also been underachieving a bit,...
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The American Samoa Uprising Continues
If you’d heard of the American Samoa national football team before this week, there’s likely only one reason: Australia. A few years back, they took a beating that would leave even a ginger stepchild...
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Euro 2012 Draw Done, Dusted, Diabolically Good
Big names and bad jokes ruled the day in Nyon as the Euro names were announced. And given that it’s the Euros, where the quality has a higher density, Groups of Death are often just the groups....
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Euro 2012’s Men In Black (Or Fabulous Fluorescent)
Sadly, this guy is not on the list. (But he should be. And he is certainly fabulous.) The men to earn hate and derision from entire nations take charge of the Euro 2012 next summer have been given...
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Euro 2012’s Big Money
Literally. Just the day you were waiting for, right? Ukraine’s Euro 2012 coin collection: released. Specifically the coin above, for which you’ve been stocking away all those gift cards and envelopes...
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World Cup 2014: Guns For Tickets
Tickets to the World Cup in Brazil are going to be fairly difficult to come by one would expect, if only in comparison to South Africa 2010. Gun violence is also something of a concern, so combining...
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In Case You Forgot About AFCON…
This guy is here to remind you. It’s here, and it’s…something. This is not your prawn sandwich brigade. It’s more like a carnival crossed with a drag show dashed with a touch of Japanese game show....
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A Lesson In Nonchalance
It’s going to take quite a bit for Olympic qualifying of any type to make any type of news, unless David Beckham is personally championing his merits for the cause. Women’s CONCACAF qualifiers? That...
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Water Sports At AFCON
Including both diving and synchronized swimming. His name is Narcisse Ekanga, and there is a pool of water near him – or all around him, rather. There’s also a rounding of the football gods cursing...
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Unexpected Zambia Nets AFCON Final
Odds before the tournament of Zambia making it to the AFCON final probably weren’t particularly high – they’ve never won and have only been to two finals, the last nearly twenty years ago. ELO has...
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The Herve Renard Moment
It’s going to take something absolutely monumental to top this moment on a similar stage at any point this year – or perhaps in the long-distance future. Herve Renard, Zambia’s coach and honorary...
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The Algerian-Russian Connection
It’s not always good news, is it? Though this seems it could be at least partly the plot to a Bond film, so if any of the victims fancy whipping up a quick screenplay – and they are – there’s certainly...
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